What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
