i need an iv and a liver transplant
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
