i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
