I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
