i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
