but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
