U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
