it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
