Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
