I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
