mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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