I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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