Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
