Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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