Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
