One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
