mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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