I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
