weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
