He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
