She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I didn't notice because vodka
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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