I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize