can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
