You're completely useless in the revolution.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
