I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
