Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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