My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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