Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
