Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
