I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
