i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
