Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
