What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
