saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I have demons in me.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
