Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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