My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
