toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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