Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
