the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
