I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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