Buhtt sex?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
