In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
