I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize