im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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