I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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