I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
