Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Randomize
