dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
