Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
