Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
