so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
