Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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