she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
