OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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