how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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